i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
