What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
