So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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