I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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