i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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