Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
