Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
