covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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