New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
