Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
17 year olds will be the death of me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
