We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
