I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
