dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
