New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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