Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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