I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
