no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
whose parrot is this?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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