i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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