his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
