Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
