What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
