Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
