Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
