I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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