i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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