I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
