So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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