dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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