he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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