So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
