if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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