you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
