Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
