Sponge bath it is.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
