I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
