He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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