Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize