flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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