My nipple is on Facebook.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
