all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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