he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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