Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The power of my boobs compel you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
