I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
