I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
