It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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