dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.