I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
