I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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