oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
