I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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