I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
