How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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