it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
