Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
