I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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