Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
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There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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