My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
