No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
