Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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