The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
