Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
