ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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